Sunday, July 29, 2007

This is a Hate Crime?

Michelle Malkin has the most interesting take on 23-year-old Stanislav Shmulevich, a Pace University student who was arrested Friday on hate crime charges for trowing a Koran in a toilet, not just once but twice.

Hopefully the ACLU will be there to help defend Mr. Shmulevich's free speech rights.

Yeah right.

UPDATE: Dave Budge is having a very interesting debate about this issue and Hate Crime laws and sentencing. Check it out.


  1. I’m not sure if that's a hate crime. I guess it would depend on whether there’s a Muslim underneath that book.

    You’ll have to ask Jeff over at David Budge dot com. Jeff’s an authority on hate crimes.

  2. It's a very interesting debate over at Dave Budge.


    I and other members of our diverse community wish to denounce in the strongest possible terms the current craze for flushing the Koran down the toilet, as started by a certain Mr Stanislav Shmulevich [see ]

    These Islamophobes think they are making a political or religious statement in sending this book into the sewers, but do they realise just what harm they're doing? Where do they think these soggy, smelly Korans go to? They don't just harmlessly dissappear, I can tell you!

    I am a member of a diverse community of single celled organisms who work in the activitated sludge at a sewage treatment plant. Our community is composed of bacteria, amoebae, Spirotrichs, Peritrichs, Vorticellids etc who were all working happily side by side to process human wastes and render them harmless, until all this Koran-flushing business started.

    Between us, we microbes can biodegrade any normal pee or poo. But these Korans have got us beat. They are toxic supershiite. We've never seen crap like it, not even the stuff that comes out of the toilets in government offices.

    What's worse is the danger of the development of militant cells. As you are no doubt all aware, if the Koran comes into contact with certain low and primitive life-forms it can turn them into virulent killers. I'm afraid this could happen to some members of our previously well-integrated microbial community. I and my fellow protozoans have got more sense than to be affected by this crap, but some of the previously harmless bacteria could turn pathogenic and escape from the sewage treatment plant to cause havoc. That's why flushing the koran is such a serious hate-crime.

    So next time you're tempted to wipe your botty on Sura 5:33, spare a thought for all of us at the other end of the sewer. There are alternative environmentally acceptable ways to dispose of unwanted korans. Have you thought of using the pages as beer-mats, or as kitchen towels to absorb the excess fat from your fried bacon?

    A. Meba

  4. To A. Meba:

    Thank you for alerting the humans to our problem. But you single-celled city creatures really have no idea what trouble these Korans are causing for your microscopic brothers out here in the country.

    Most of us live in closed environments called septic tanks. For your information, that is an underground home, usually made of concrete, with underground drain pipes that form what we call a leach field.

    Living in a septic tank is not at all like living in a city sewage system. First of all, we do not have any diversity to speak of. Most of us are genetically identical, and any new micro-organisms that get flushed into our tank usually come from the same humans all the time. (Once in a while the humans go backpacking, and we get a few outside flagellates that show up, but they are clueless about how to live in a septic tank and always die pretty quickly.) Second, we are not lazy unionized city microbes. We work hard, around the clock, because if we do not, then all the shit starts floating down the drain pipes and into the leach field. When that happens, some human will pop the lid off our home, suck us all up in a big hose, and take us away in a truck. Then we get sprayed on a field and the sun burns us to death!

    It takes almost two weeks to fully disintegrate a Koran. And that is for a paperback version. We have not seen any hardcover versions yet, but our brothers who live in outhouses--basically, low-budget septic tanks--say they have. So far they have had to cope with only a few pages at a time, like the Sears Catalog the Koran replaced, but they live in daily fear that some cowboy will drop the entire book into their hole someday.

    Please, all country-dwelling humans who are reading this, do not flush Korans down the toilet! Think of your little hardworking friends! And do not believe in septic tank treatments!

    -- Boss Bug

  5. Hot Air has Michelle beating up O'Reilly about this one, your link didn't work for me, may want to link to that one.

    Big Swede

  6. Thanks Big Swede,
    Michelle updated her post which changed the link. I fixed it.